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Full Moon Wisdom
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"Nature instructs us about our own cycles of creating and letting go: Trees in autumn don't stubbornly hold onto their leaves because they might need them next year."
~ Neil Gumenick
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| Dear Michael, |  You may not realize it, but this year, the Autumn Equinox aligns with the full moon, so we have both cycles beginning on the same day. Indeed, as is the case during each new season, this will be a time of powerful transition. As we experience this shift within, we can learn a lot from observing what happens in nature--most striking, is what we see happening to the trees. And, I would like to reflect upon this and offer some thoughts on the matter of letting go.
In a beautifully written synopsis of this season from a Chinese Medical perspective, Neil Gumenick writes: "Nature instructs us about our own cycles of creating and letting go: Trees in autumn don't stubbornly hold onto their leaves because they might need them next year." He goes on to say, "....how many of us defy the cycle and hold onto what we've produced or collected-those decayed leaves, that old negativity?"
It is indeed these attachments that prevent us from moving forward in our evolution. On the level of living now, we wind up carrying an ever heavier load if we do not allow things to fall away.
Quite simply, it is important to examine what we are holding onto and to examine what, if any, purpose it serves. More aptly, how does holding on defeat your purpose of achieving a healthier and more balanced life? This is the lesson of autumn.
What would we expect of a tree if it did not let go of its leaves?
So, in that spirit, take a deep breath.....but make sure you let it out!
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Consider This...Skillful Reflection |
 Clearly, attachment is a biological process that is needed for survival. A leaf is attached to a branch, a petal is attached to a stamen, and a tortoise is attached to its shell. However, just as attachment is an essential part of nature, so too is the biological imperative for letting go: A hermit crab leaves a shell that is too small. A snake scurries away from its sibling's moments after its birth. A bird freely abandons its nest once a squirrel or other animal has corrupted it. Tress let go of their leaves in the fall. Everywhere in nature we see examples of moving on and letting go. Humans, on the other hand, are challenged by this idea and struggle to leave the places, people and things to which they have grown accustomed. Like a well-worn sweater that has become a little too tight or soft leather couch that no longer supports us, we become so attached to things, especially our value systems and beliefs that we willingly screw up our lives to keep them in place. Unlike the rest of the natural world, we remain attached to the familiar, even after it no longer serves us and often after it contributes to states of dysfunction and poor health.
Where do we find the help to take on the challenge of letting go? The best answer takes us back to the Chinese understanding of autumn, of which another aspect is the change in the air. Most of us are familiar with the crispness and refreshing quality of the air at this time of the year. Autumn provides us with a welcome relief from the hot, oppressive and air-starved days of summer. In autumn, we literally stretch our lungs to fill with this air. And whether we realize it or not, metaphorically, it is a time for inspiration. We require inspiration to have the courage to plunge into the depths of our attachments. We require inspiration to see them for what they are. And we require inspiration to help us shake lose from the ego's identification with and its attachment to the things which cause us pain. It takes inspiration to move forward in our lives. As a final thought, I would pose the following argument: letting go does not require as much work as it may seem. In autumn, leaves fall effortlessly from the trees. Try it-let your leaves go. I think you will be pleased with what happens in the spring.
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Advice from the Skillful Doctor | 
Question: My fiancée and I broke up about a year ago, but I still feel so angry about it that I've been unable to move on and develop any new relationships What can I do to start over?
Answer: The end of an important relationshipis always challenging. A period of disappointment and despair is quite natural. But so is our emergence from it. What you need to move forward may require some more time, but in all probability since you are seeking relief, you seem ready to take the next step. The issue, then, is to muster the forces to let go. My recommendation is that you not convince yourself to do this, but cultivate your skill at letting go and let the process unfold more naturally.
To begin, imagine for a moment what it would be like to live to your fullest potential and in harmony with those you love, surrounded by beauty and at peace. Spend some time developing this image and the feelings associated with it. Though you may not see this state lasting too long, keep coming back to this image, get comfortable in that space. Now examine the attachments that are holding you back. Are there some attachments you can shed right now? If so, release them. Every time you have an opportunity, see if there is something else you can let go of. Along the way, keep returning to that image of integrity, peace and harmony. See how much lighter it makes you feel. If you find that something is holding you back, explore its origin. You might pick up a notebook and compose a story of your thoughts and experiences. Play back that story as a movie: find a way for the hero or heroine, you, to heal and return to wholeness. If you are having a hard time letting go, choosing for whatever reason to hold onto pain in one area, come back to it another time. For now, do what you can and be kind and patient with yourself.
 It may help to know that one of the things we hold onto is the notion that we are something other than perfect. And, we might be better served if we let go of the faulty thought that change is impossible or out of reach. In fact, we do it all the time. What does not change so easily is what our ego holds onto most tightly--its assumed identity. In this instance, even using the word "fiancée" holds you back as it defines you by association with another. Let go of the word. See this as part of your personal growth and evolution, but nothing more. Give your true self and your inner voice more credit for its independent value.
Tell us about how you have let go of an attachment or submit your own question here.
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Announcements |
The next three episodes of The Skillful Living Room Radio Show will be available here the day after they air. You can, of course, listen live, by tuning into the "listen live" link at Business Talk Radio. The show airs every Saturday at 12 Noon EST.
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On September 25th, Brooklyn-based pediatrician Dr. Anatoly Belilovsky will visit The Skillful Living Room to discuss Skillful Parenting concepts and how to raise a "super kid."
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FINALLY! A MeaningFull Action for the Full Moon |
I close today's letter with this suggested activity for the full moon:
 For the next two weeks, every time you acquire something new, make an effort to let something else go, in turn. Whether it's an item of clothing, a book or a kitchen utensil, find something in your home that you can give away or throw out. Then, sometime before the next full moon, as the trees get ready to let go of their leaves, spend some time in silence watching them fall. Breath in and breath out. Enjoy the air and how light you feel as you come into harmony with nature around you.
Mitakuye Oyasin,
Michael Finkelstein
SunRaven
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The Next Installment: New Moon, October 7, 2010
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