Have you ever wondered why Valentine's Day is in February? 

In theory, love is not typically equated with the properties of winter.  Thoughts of love are normally likened to the warmth of summer, the promise of spring or the lively colors of the fallen leaves of autumn.  Nonetheless, the presence of a force as powerful as love during a time when life is seemingly so still is a profound testament of the season's empasis on connection as we discussed above.             

There's no question that the ability to find a tender and familiar place is a skill we all seek to fully develop...and although our immediate necessities change with the seasons, our basic wants and physical, emotional and spiritual need for connection does not. Love, in spite of all the literature and art that attempts to capture it, epitomizes the mysterious but essential source of life we long to identify and hold on to. Like the wind, however, it is hard to see, and only as it moves past something more solid can we sense it. Beyond the nice dinner and roses, Valentine's Day reminds us to tune in another way.

So why is Valentine's Day in winter? In Chinese medicine, winter is associated with the ear and is a time when our hearing becomes the primary sense. And like the wind in the trees, it is not something we experience until the vibrations touch something else.  Like love, it is not something we can grasp, even though it is out there. We must learn to be still in order to feel it. Indeed, we don't always need to capture something to know it exists. Love is exemplary and perhaps for this reason, this might be the best time to experience it.

So, as we face the reality that more and more darkness surrounds us as winter truly sets in and the days continue to grow shorter, having faith that they will grow longer again becomes far less important than honing our ability to bring our less dominant senses to the forefront of our consciousness and finding comfort - indeed a great ability - to connect to others in the stillness.  In this respect, we must sit still, listen and feel.  Similarly, we must be careful about our thoughts, as others are more sensitive as well. Thoughts, like the wind, can be destructive or help shape and cultivate life. Therefore, this is the time to be mindful of what we project out into space. In this way, our thoughts bear a striking resemblance to the winter night's wind, whether they are fluttering innocently through our open plain of consciousness, wafting purposefully among a valley of awareness or swelling like the rising tides.  

Whether we are in love with a partner, a child, a greater being, or anything in between, there is no denying that it is a force that does not need to be seen to be acknowledged or understood.  Much like the voices of the wind, heard only as they touch the trees, the experience of love becomes tangible once the energy behind it comes into contact with the object of that love.  Enjoy this time.  It is when the world around us is calm that we are most still and enabled to give and receive in this most profound way.

Please share your thoughts...
 

Question: I am happily married, but my wife has complained about my inability to bend on certain issues.  I feel that I am diligent about seeing her point of view.  How do I convince her that it is sometimes healthy to disagree?

Answer:  Seeing your wife's point of view is a healthy first step, but ultimately it may not be enough.  The true challenge is hearing her and connecting in other ways to appreciate how she is affected by you, beyond the words.  What non-verbal cues does your wife give you?  Sometimes we have to listen to our loved ones so intently-not only to what they are saying, but in a way to "feel" the vibrations that emerge from their consciousness involuntarily-in order to understand the depth of their sentiments.  When you use the word, "convincing", it makes me think that you are trying to get her to see things your way. Instead, begin by asking yourself if you are fully hearing her. It is fair, as well, to ask her if she fully hears you. The practice of listening and feeling is essential to a healthy relationship.

Keep in mind that the coo of a child is the most stimulating sound that exists for a woman.  To say something eternally memorable (or convincing) is a remarkable feat, but to create such a vibration in another person develops a far deeper bond. As adults, we would do well to return to our innate ability to resonate with others in this way. In one respect, I agree with you, there are limited returns on a debate that carries on too long; and couples should learn to live with their individual opinions and views and drop the argument before it takes on a life of its own. More importantly, however, the emphasis should be on the connection and the love. In both of these, the feeling state becomes the focus.

Please submit your own question here.

• On February 5^th, Robin Queen will join me to talk about deepining your relationship with your partner; a process that requires the cultivation of intimacy and care on many levels.  
• On February 12^th, Rick Jarow will return to continue the conversation on "manifestation," that we started on the show that aired on January 22nd: "Abundance, the Absence of Anxiety." 

On Monday, February 7^th at noon, you can tune into Lauren Mackler's Life Keys radio show at www.contacttalkradio.com.  The topic will be living with chronic illness, and Lauren and I will be discussing new approaches to managing the complex challenges of living with such a malady.

On Tuesday, February 15^th at 7pm, I will be leading a workshop at The Bedford Post Inn.  The workshop will cover "Restoring Balance in a 'Chronic' Culture."  Chronic health conditions on the rise in the US, where more than half of Americans are afflicted with a long-term or permanent illness.  This workshop is designed to help anyone who is dealing with a chronic condition, anyone whose loved one has a chronic condition and anyone who feels out of balance.   Whether someone is struggling with fibromyalgia or asthma, migraines or depression, back pain or cancer, infertility or addiction, the workshop will offer actionable steps for dealing with a long-term condition physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I will also offer thoughts on why these often-devastating afflictions are so common today.  

To register, please visit www.bedfordpostinn.com/yoga-loft and go to "online schedule." If you have questions, you can email Rebekah at the Bedford Post Inn: yoga@bedfordpostinn.com. 

I will also be hosting a Group Juice Fast beginning February 24^th at SunRaven. Two programs will be offered--a 4 day program which will conclude on Monday February 28 and a week-long program which will end on March 4^th.  If you have been thinking about undertaking a true "cleanse" or detox, a green juice fast along with a comprehensive protocol developed by one of the leading experts in the field can be an extremely valuable experience.  The SunRaven Juice Fast is unique in that it offers the support from a group of participants who share this interest and live in the same community, as well as my guidance and participation.
 

For more information, write to: juicefast@sunraven.org

FINALLY! A New Thought for the New Moon